President Obama's national security adviser, retired General James Jones, apologized yesterday for a joke he told to a pro-Israeli think tank.Here's the joke:
"A Taliban fighter, desperate for water, finds a Jewish merchant's store. The merchant tries to sell him an overpriced tie, outraging the militant, who suddenly realizes that the shop owner is a Jew. The Taliban blows himself up, destroying the store and killing the merchant. The merchant's widow still tries to sell the dead Taliban a tie."
While audience members laughed politely, Abraham Foxman, uptight Jew and the head of the Anti-Defamation League, told ABC News that the joke was "inappropriate," "stereotypical," and "quite frankly, not that funny."
Obviously, the problem wasn't the joke, it was the audience. What kind of schmuck named Jones tells a Jewish joke to a pro-Israeli think tank? The General got his speeches mixed up. He told the Israelis the joke he was planning on telling the Saudi Delegation to the International Women's Rights Convention.
This isn't the first time James Jones has had this problem. Remember this photo?
He was telling Hillary Clinton the one about the cankled hooker in the eye-melting pink pantsuit that got appointed Secretary of State, when he noticed what she was wearing.
Here's the joke National Security Advisor Jones was supposed to tell to the pro-Israeli think tank:
"A Taliban fighter, desperate for water, finds a Jewish merchant's store. The merchant tries to sell him a tie, outraging the militant, who goes into an anti-Semitic rant. When he's done, the merchant tells him about a restaurant that has water. The fighter leaves, returns an hour later and complains, "Your brother tells me I need a tie to get into the restaurant." The Jewish merchant sells the fighter a tie, a pinstripe suit in last year's style and two matching sportcoats at a tidy profit. Then he complains to the United States and a Predator strike kills the Taliban fighter's neighbors, wife, children and mother-in-law. The Taliban fighter survives, finds water and continues to fight for many years."
"Now that's funny!" screamed a doubled-over Abe Foxman as tears fell from his eyes and spittle dribbled from his mouth.
Bobby,
ReplyDeleteThe Obama staff are still a bunch of amateurs.
Reminds me of a joke Nixon used to love to tell (Of course he had the sense to tell it the privacy of his office. I think it's on one of the tapes).
"After wandering 40 years in the hot, dry, miserable desert, a cheap Jew intellectual finds an Arab store. He politely asks the proprietor if he can have a drink of water. The Arab invites the Jew into the backroom where his Arab wife is preparing tea and freshly baked almond cookies. They have a pleasant nosh and the Jew talks endlessly about Realpolitik. The Jew, feeling much better, offers to pay but the Arab gets insulted and an argument begins. The Jew apologizes and leaves. Later that week the store is leveled by an IDF bulldozer."
Professor Henry hated that joke.
Bill
Bill,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment!
Reminds me of a joke Father McDonald used to tell us on the bus after our team lost another CYO basketball game.
A Taliban fighter and the Pope walk into a Jewish merchant's store. The fighter exposes his suicide bomb, and people start running from the store. The merchant's wife yells "Children first!" to which the merchant responds, as he pushes his own son out of his way, "Fuck the children!"
The Pope says "Do we really have time?"
Not much of a joke teller, the Father, but he had really well manicured fingernails.
Bob
Bobby,
ReplyDeleteReminds me of a joke Dick Cheney used to tell at Camp David:
"A dune coon, desperate for water, finds a kike merchant's store. The hymie tries to sell him a tie, outraging the camel jockey, who goes into an anti-Semitic rant. When the haji is done, the heeb tells him about a restaurant that has water. The towelhead leaves, returns an hour later and complains, "Your yid brother tells me I need a tie to get into the restaurant."
Bill
Bill,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment!
You just took the original joke and added racist names. Good job.
Bob
Bobby,
ReplyDeleteReminds me of a joke that Spiro Agnew used to tell when we were sitting in the Oval Office waiting for the Big Guy (not Satan, Nixon):
"A Taliban fighter, desperate for water, finds a Jewish merchant's store. He kills the merchant and his family and steals all the water. As he leaves the store he shoots a three-legged puppy that is sitting in the shade escaping the noon day sun. A Blackwater operative that is providing tactical support asks "Why the puppy?" The Taliban fighter chuckles and says "I knew no one would care about the Jews."
Professor Henry hated that joke.
Bill
Bill,
ReplyDeleteReminds me of a joke I just made up:
A Taliban fighter, desperate for water, finds a Jewish merchant's store. He enters and discovers it is a liquor store. Being a fundamentalist Muslim the Taliban fighter can not drink alcohol. The merchant tries to sell him a bottle of his finest Manischewitz Extra Heavy Malaga, outraging the militant, who goes into an anti-Semitic rant.
"So, maybe I could interest you in bottle of Manischewitz Cherry flavor?" asked the merchant.
The Taiban fighter, realizing that he hasn't explained the problem correctly, describes the strict Islamic rules about alcohol to the merchant.
"Water, I don't got," explained the merchant. "But if you want to lick the sweat off of a young Hazara boy dressed up like a woman, there is one dancing in the backroom."
The Taliban hands the merchant a twenty and goes into the backroom.
Let's see Spiro Agnew top that!
Bob