Thursday, September 16, 2010

Derek Cheater! So help me, Jeter.

Derek Cheater Jeter Christ I believe that it may be time for all Major League umpires to stop worshiping their false idol, Jeter Christ. Home Plate Umpire Lance Barksdale, Jeter Christ does not love you. You and all the boys in blue can stop kissing Jeter's ass rings.


  1. Bobby,

    In hell we only get NY Mets telecasts and are forced to listen to John Sterling do the Yankee games on the radio. Therefore, we never know the score, the inning, or whatthefuck is happening.

    Hell sucks!


  2. Bill,

    Jeter performed another miracle, he pretended to be hurt!

    Hey remember that song from the musical Damn Yankees? It went something like this:

    Jeter, I am overjoyed to meet you face to face
    Making plays and slapping hits, all around the place
    Healing cripples, raising from the dead
    And now I understand you're God...
    At least that's what John Sterling said.

    So, you're Jeter Christ,
    You're the great Jeter Christ.

    Prove to me that you're no schnook,
    Give brotherly advice to a rook.
    That's all you need do and then I'll know its all true
    Come on, Captain of the Yanks!

    Jeter, you won't believe
    the hit you've made round here
    You tricked the ump, the Yanks still lost, but you're the wonder of the year.
    Oh, what a pity, you're hitting .265
    Still, I'm sure you can cover the hole, altho you'll have to dive...

  3. 75% of NY would give Derek Jeter a Blowjob....and most of those would be Mets fans.

  4. Alpha,

    Maybe, but I would have to close my eyes. If I looked up and so that shit-eating smirk on his face while his pubes were tickling my nose, I would toss my lunch.

    Thanks for the comment!