I'm sitting on my couch, my broom in one hand, my remote in the other and...
figure dancing and hockey!
Where's the women's curling NBC!?! Where's the UK vs. my scrappy Team Denmark? Where's the Brit's hot skip, Eve Muirhead? Where are my Dupont sisters?
I opened a Turborg and told myself to calm down. Women of this quality are often late. They have pressing demands and NBC never shows anything live.
At 8:00, I flipped from NBC to CNBC to MSNBC. No Madeleine Dupont, no Denise, no nothing. I finally find something in these crap olympics that I like and NBC doesn't bother to show me a second of it. The liverwurst was slowly going crusty and dark, the harvarti was getting shiny and warm, and I was left with nothing but the Tuborgs.
Men's curling? Whothefuck watches men's curling? Women? I don't think so. The only curling these guys are doing off the ice are the 12 ounce variety. Are millions tuning in to see the actual gameplay and strategy? (Editor's note: That's a joke. There is no action in curling.) The only people on the planet Earth that watch men's curling are the team's parents.
Hot girl-on-girl curling action found only in women's curling is what we want to see. The key NBC, is the "wo" part.
No post about women's curling can be complete without mentioning America's own sexy Nicole Joraanstad (Editor's note: I can finally spell her last name without looking it up!).
And just a reminder that the appeal of these gorgeous women is that they are not models. They are athletes that care about more than blow and shoes. Here's Nicole Joraanstad with a trophy so impressively big, I feel compelled to put my own broom away in shame.
Turns out that I work with a guy, that knows a guy with a brother-in-law, that spent a night at Rikers with a guy, that knows a guy that went to UofW, Madison with Nicole, and I think I may just have an exclusive real soon!