This Week's Rejected Daily Mail Comments -- 6/11/14

Another Post Courtesy of the The Daily Mail - I kid Rupert Murdoch a lot when we see each other at the Friar's Club but his rag does supply an endless assortment of crap for my blog.

When you really, really need to see celebrity nipples poking through skintight blouses there is only one place to go on the web, the The Daily Mail. Now there's another reason to visit The Daily Mail, a new game for killing time at work. The goal is to get as many red down arrows as possible when you comment on their articles.

You'd think it would be easy. The Daily Mail is just like the New York Post except it's targeted at toothless limeys instead of toothless guys from Staten Island. Work some pro-ObamaCare into your comment, maybe a gay marriage doesn't really hurt anyone, and those red arrows will start piling up, right?  Right?  Wrong. The problem is you have to get your comments through those warehouses full of censors housed somewhere just east of Mumbai.

Rejected Comments of the Past Week

Mexican Kim Kardashian lookalike 'takes over as boss of drug cartel hit squad' and uses a personalised pink AK47
My Comment:   Kayne married the wrong woman.  He should go to Mexico this weekend for a quickie divorce.

'She has the perfect body!' Kris Jenner says daughter Kendall's topless modelling shots 'comes with the territory' 
My Comment:   Has mom picked the rapper Kendall will have to fornicate with so they can leak the video?   50 Cent is on the comeback trail.  He would be a good choice.

 Accepted Comments

Sometimes I do get a comment through the censors. Remember my goal is to get as many red arrows as possible.

Svelte Khloe Kardashian treats herself to some much needed pampering with a manicure after a whirlwind few weeks
My Comment:   Much needed pampering? How about she gets a real job and works for a living? Khloe has been pampered her whole life!  Does svelte mean something else in England?  Rating ▲3

In the United States of America,  svelte means slender and elegant, your own Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge is a perfect example of svelte.   Khloe Kardashian is not slender, we would call her "thick," and she is the polar opposite of elegant.   Khloe is unimpressive, unrefined, unsophisticated, in a word, crude and tasteless.  Wait, that's two words.
 

Jennifer Lopez doesn't leave much to the imagination as she strips down to sexy latex stockings and suspenders to play first- ever gig in The Bronx
My Comment:  It's a trap!  No votes

Because, you know, her boyfriend likes banging transexuals and J-Lo does have a pretty masculine face, and by pretty, I mean "to a moderately high degree," although she also has a pretty face despite it's masculine features.

On a personal note, this is a rare case where I am too hip for the room.  Clearly, nobody got "It's a trap!" lmao

Kanye West to take 'drastic measures' to beef up daughter North's security as he 'fears for her safety'
My Comment:   Here's a security idea, Kayne. Stop exploiting her. That baby takes more selfies than James Franco. If you want to keep Baby North's face off a milk carton, stop milking her for all those bucks.  Rating ▲4

Lying law graduate who claimed boyfriend raped her 11 times so she had an excuse for failing her bar exams faces jail
My Comment:  Lying, cheating, total lack of morals, she's going to be a great lawyer!  Rating ▲21

Kim Kardashian is almost unrecognizable as she trades sexy frocks for Amish style billowing dress
My Comment:   No Amish woman with eyes would wear that hideous frock.  Rating ▲10

One of these things is not like the others

One of these things just doesn't belong

The others are plain, simple and hard-working

Kim is a slut that likes a big schlong. 
                                              -Elmo Melonosky