Friday, June 13, 2014
Why World Cup Soccer Sucks - Final 2014 Update
Against my better judgement, I, a red-blooded American, sat down to watch Brazil vs. Croatia.
Croatia was playing energetically, aggressively, pushing forward instead of making a hundred meaningless passes at midfield. Croatia was ahead 1-0 when Fred cheated. He fell down. He flopped. He took a dive.
Brazil was losing so they cheated.
Fred pretended a big, bad Croatian pushed him. He faked it.
And, because this is World Cup Soccer, he was rewarded for his unmanly acts.
Referee Yuichi Nishimura gave the Croat a yellow card and awarded a penalty shot that even an American could have scored. Later on, I guess to assure his payoff, Mr. Nishimura waved off a goal by Croatia for no apparent reason.
I have a question for the real soccer fans out there, "Does Japan get credit for the win?" That would be too fair for FIFA.
After the goal, that disgusting, cheating pussy Fred was caught on camera pointing to the heavens.
What a role model for today's youth!!! Fred was thanking God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit for teaching him how to cheat.
Thank God Brazil was able to fake it to victory. Pele must be so proud.
Now we know the difference between a cheating pussy and a cheating cunt. Cheating cunt is courtesy of Irvine Welsh.
I will not watch another single minute of this World Cup.
Maybe in four years I'll try again. I'm sure the games in Qatar will be fair and clean.