Thursday, June 26, 2014

This Week's Rejected Daily Mail Comments -- 6/26/14

Another Post Courtesy of the The Daily Mail - I kid Rupert Murdoch a lot when we see each other at the Friar's Club but his rag does supply an endless assortment of crap for my blog.

When you really, really need to see celebrity nipples poking through skintight blouses there is only one place to go on the web, the The Daily Mail. Now there's another reason to visit The Daily Mail, a new game for killing time at work. The goal is to get as many red down arrows as possible when you comment on their articles.

You'd think it would be easy. The Daily Mail is just like the New York Post except it's targeted at toothless limeys instead of toothless guys from Staten Island. Work some pro-ObamaCare into your comment, maybe a gay marriage doesn't really hurt anyone, and those red arrows will start piling up, right?  Right?  Wrong. The problem is you have to get your comments through those warehouses full of censors housed somewhere just east of Mumbai.

Rejected Comments of the Past Week

Kim Kardashian kisses dolphin animal love
Kim Kardashian has a fin-tastic time in black bikini as she swims with and kisses a dolphin
My Comment:   I've never seen a dolphin kissing an elephant seal before!  Those kids will be uglier than Baby Nori.

Having already spread herpes and chlamydia throughout the human population, Kim Kardashian sets her sights on innocent dolphins.  Does her evil horniness know no bounds?

Karlie Kloss no boobs no cameltoe no story
Karlie Kloss dresses down in tight-fitting jeans
My Comment:  A Karlie Kloss article with no side boob, no bottom boob, no top boob, and no nipply-wipplys?  Why is this news?

Kirstie Alley fat again funny
'I've lost three lemurs!' Kirstie Alley reveals she has dropped 20lbs since restarting the Jenny Craig plan
My Comment:   It looks like Kirstie ATE three lemurs, for breakfast, with a side of bacon, and a side of beef.

Accepted Comments

Sometimes I do get a comment through the censors. Remember my goal is to get as many red arrows as possible.

Queen Elizabeth and Duke of Edinburgh visit a notorious Belfast prison once synonymous with the Troubles
My Comment:   When you buy a hat like that, I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh?  But it looks good on you, Your Majesty.  Rating ▼47

Khloe Kardashian fat funny healthy
Khloe Kardashian puts on a leggy display in a form-fitting black ensemble as she reveals her top tips for 'staying healthy'
My Comment:  Might as well ask Ronald McDonald advice on staying healthy or maybe a walrus.  Rating ▲2

Jeremy Meeks hot not
Jeremy Meeks' mother defends son. Says he wakes up crying, he's only guilty of being good looking
My Comment:  He doesn't wake up crying, that's a cute, little tear tattoo! This mother is dumb.  Rating ▼1

Kim Kardashian fat again funny no photoshop
Kim Kardashian showcases her svelte figure in plunging black jumpsuit
My Comment:  Svelte?  Svelte means slender and elegant, two adjectives that do not apply to Kim Kardashian.  I think the word you meant was zaftig. It sounds the same but means having a full, rounded figure.  Rating ▲1

Selena Gomez selfie hot bikini
Selena Gomez flashes her taut and tanned tum in a skimpy crop top as she posts yet another flesh-baring selfie online
My Comment:  Yummy!  Selena, more selfies, por favor!  Rating ▼15

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