Tuesday, December 23, 2014

This Week's Rejected Daily Mail Comments -- 12/22/14

Another Post Courtesy of the The Daily Mail - I kid Rupert Murdoch a lot when we see each other at the Friar's Club but his rag does supply an endless assortment of crap for my blog.

When you really, really need to see celebrity nipples poking through skintight blouses there is only one place to go on the web, the The Daily Mail. Now there's another reason to visit The Daily Mail, a new game for killing time at work. The goal is to get as many red down arrows as possible when you comment on their articles.

You'd think it would be easy. The Daily Mail is just like the New York Post except it's targeted at toothless limeys instead of toothless guys from Staten Island. Work some pro-ObamaCare into your comment, maybe a gay marriage doesn't really hurt anyone, and those red arrows will start piling up, right?  Right?  Wrong. The problem is you have to get your comments through those warehouses full of censors housed somewhere just east of Mumbai.

Rejected Comments of the Past Week

A Christmas miracle! Kendra Wilkinson reunites with husband Hank Baskett and their kids to pick out a tree
My Comment:  I'm surprised Hank didn't pick a Christmas tree with balls.

As Christmas miracles go, this is right up there with untangling the lights in under an hour.

Kendall Jenner Christmas reindeer sexy hot with mom
Kendall Jenner, 19 and momager Kris, 59, put their lean legs on display as they dance around together
My Comment:  I'm having a recurring Christmas nightmare that I'm married to Kendall Jenner, I'm in bed waiting for my sweetie, and Kris Jenner climbs into the bed wearing nothing but antlers.

Emma Watson Maisie Williams catfight making out feminists
Game Of Thrones star Maisie Williams is 'impatient' with Emma Watson's brand of 'first world feminism' 
My Comment:  It's time for some feminist mud wrestling!!!  FOX-TV make this happen.  Would be better if one of the feminists had bigger boobs.

Accepted Comments

Sometimes I do get a comment through the censors. Remember my goal is to get as many red arrows as possible.

Pat Robertson hates gays funny
Pat Robertson claims 'homosexuals will die out' because they can't reproduce
My Comment:  So, Pat believes that homosexuals are created at conception?  Does Jesus know that he's still alive?  Rating ▲4

This is one of the most fucked up things ever said by a rightwing, religious nutjob.  Does he really believe that the current generation of gays is the only generation of gays?   And that homosexuality is not a choice but is genetic?   Is he senile?  Does nobody edit the crap that he writes?  Jesus can really pick 'em.  

French Kim Kardashian butt battle
'France's Kim Kardashian' is released on bail from prison after five weeks as she awaits trial for allegedly trying to stab her boyfriend to death
My Comment:   The French Kim has a butt that looks human.   Rating ▲4

Her whole body looks human, a very attractive, large breasted human but within the constraints of human variation.  Other than dark hair, what do these two have in common?  Is she the French Kim because she got famous after her mom videotaped her banging a rapper?

My original comment was actually funny:  "The Real Kim should stab Kayne to death.  It would be great for ratings."  Daily Mail rejected that one.

Are your gloves made out of DOG skin? Barbaric slaughterhouses in China use the hide of pets slaughtered for food to make leather goods
My Comment:  We eat cows and turn them into gloves. What's the difference?  Rating ▼22

 This is good opportunity to talk about the ratings.  ▼22  doesn't seem like much of a response.  But the actual ratings for this comment are  Rating ▲482  and ▼504 for a net result of  ▼22.

The really crappy thing is I was at about ▼200 until it became 9:00 on the west coast. All those veggies started showing up at work,  goofing off on the internet and then, all the green arrows showed up.

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