Wednesday, October 6, 2010

How to Draw John Bolton in a Suit

First, you sort of sketch in the colors using cheap, magic markers that get darker when you overlap your strokes.
Then you draw a pretty damn good John Bolton with the best black pen you can steal from work.

Then you put the two together and you get a naked John Bolton which is pretty good but is not the goal of this exercise.
how to draw a naked John Bolton
Finally, you draw a suit over the naked John Bolton making all the work you did getting his saggy man boobs and unsightly body hair perfect -- a total waste of time. But that's okay, cause National Lampoon is going to pay you $500 for the effort.*

That is not a skirt. You weren't going to see the bottom of the guy so you got a little lazy.

*But then National Lampoon passes on the bit because it's too UN-AMERICAN!!!**

**Yeah, okay, it was un-American but it was also incredibly racist and misogynistic, and it was full of dick and fart jokes, which more than made up for the un-patriotic stuff.


  1. Bobby,

    Again, I am forced to explain the obvious.

    John Bolton was the greatest U.S. Ambassador to the U.N. since Henry Cabot Lodge, Jr.

    When Ambassador Bolton told European diplomats that he wanted no part of fiddling with the wording of a resolution about a human rights commission, we all hit our favorite slaves extra hard in delight!


  2. Bill,

    Thanks for the comment.

    I hate John Bolton.


  3. Is that money in his hand or a vibrator?

    I say go with vibrator.

    What is the most creative way you have dreamed of killing John Bolton? I vote have a cleric publish a Fatwa....oddly cheap.

  4. Alpha,

    Also cheap, his BDSM mistress ball gags him but then his ridiculous moustache blocks the flow of air through his nose.

    Cheap because he's paying the hooker.

    Thanks for the comment!