Monday, October 18, 2010
What Does Andy Pettitte Do Behind His Glove?
What does Andy Pettitte do behind his baseball mitt?
He reads uplifting passages from the bible. Stuff like, "Thou shalt not cheat."
He's sexting Deanna Favre.
He gently kisses the ball then pops it in his mouth -- just like he did with Bud Selig's balls.
He's making sure that his mascara is still perfect.
He's pulling a Jeter pube from between his teeth.
He practices his Brooklynese, stuff like fuhgeddaboutdit and notfanuttin, so that stupid Yankee fans keep thinking he's a goombah.
He's seeing if his hand still smells like Clemens' ass.
and the Number 1 thing that Andy Pettitte is probably doing behind his glove...
He's snorting lines of Human Growth Hormone.
Of all the hated Yankees, Andy "I love Jesus and HGH" Pettitte is my most hated, except for Jeter and A-Rod. Bible-thumping, Roger Clemen's ass-pumping, Andy "I have accepted HGH as my personal Savior" Pettitte is the patron saint of cheaters, liars and hypocrites.